However, many people struggle to attain this feeling of certainty. Confidence is not something we often learn as children, although it would be a wonderful thing to be taught. Focus is more often placed on what we do wrong than right, and this can eat away at the natural confidence that we are all born with.

To be confident in our own abilities as adults is sometimes perceived as being arrogant or conceited. Being self-satisfied seems to be thought of as being smug, rather than the meaning that it should have- being content with ourselves.

True self confidence is nothing like arrogance, it is a simple heart-felt knowledge that we are good enough, and that we are just as amazing as every other human being- simply because we are alive.

If we have genuine confidence, we are at ease with ourselves and trust that we don’t need to try and be anything other than ourselves. We also understand that we don’t need to compete with others and that tearing other people down in no way builds us up. This type of behavior comes from insecurity, which is the opposite of confidence.

Those of us who are parents needn’t worry that genuine praise and encouragement will cause our children to become vain or egotistical. Learning to appreciate the qualities that they have as well as the good qualities of others is a great help in developing strong and healthy confidence.

With children, and adults, it is usually those who do not truly believe that they are acceptable that try so hard to prove that they good enough. When we know in our hearts that we are everything that we need to be, and we are unique and amazing beings with special gifts to share with the world, we don’t have any need to prove ourselves.

Knowing that confidence is important to our sense of well-being doesn’t automatically enable us to create self confidence. What can you do if you feel that your confidence is lacking?

There are many things that can help to build confidence. Make a list of things that you are good at. If you have trouble with this, ask a friend to help you. Put your list in a place where you can see it, and read it every day.

Do more of the things that you like and the things that you are good at. Develop new skills, and build on the skills you have. Make sure that you spend more time around people who inspire and encourage you. Avoid being around people who put you down or make you feel bad.

Read inspiring books and articles, and I have to mention my favorite all-purpose self-help tool: affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that are repeated frequently. They work by changing negative thought patterns to positive beliefs and can help us to transform our lives in so many areas.

Self confidence gives us an unshakable belief in ourselves, and faith that whatever ups and downs life may bring, we can not only cope, but thrive.

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