April 28, 2010

Overnight success may sound a lot more appealing than it really is. While many of us fantasize about instant wealth, fame, and accomplishment, if these fantasies suddenly materialized, how would we really feel?

Rather than being ecstatic at our overnight success, most of us are more likely to feel completely overwhelmed. Even though the situation we have suddenly found ourselves in is a desirable situation, nevertheless, we have been thrown in the deep end without any training, preparation, or idea of how to handle our new reality.

While overnight success may seem like a dream come true, there is much in favor of working towards, and achieving, success gradually in various aspects of our lives. When we experience a sudden and dramatic change in our circumstances, whether we perceive this change as positive or negative, difficulties often arise from the fact that we are ill-prepared.

Coping with overnight success can be much like suddenly being thrust from running a 100m sprint into competing in a marathon. Without gradually building up our stamina and endurance, and learning the techniques needed for this new level of competition, we are unlikely to perform capably.

As well as being ill-equipped in terms of the practical skills we need to cope with our new reality, sudden success can leave us mentally and emotionally floundering. We need to adjust to the demands and changes that our new situation entails, and this adjustment can be made much more easily and successfully when it is gradual.

Rather than being frustrated at what sometimes feels like slow progress in reaching our goals, we can feel a lot less impatient when we look at our gradual advancement as a wonderful training ground.

As we steadily move towards our goal, we are able to develop the new skills that we need to comfortably manage the new challenges that our success will bring us. We can try new roles on for size, and progressively build our muscles to eventually take on bigger and bigger tasks.

We also have the opportunity to slowly adjust to our changing reality at a mental level. Often, for many years, we have held a mental picture of ourselves being at a certain level of success. To suddenly try superimposing a new picture of a vastly different status, whether real or perceived, can cause a mental short-circuit. By introducing smaller, periodic increases to our mental success picture, our brains are able to accept and absorb these changes much more easily.

The same goes for our emotional ability to handle a huge and sudden leap into overnight success. We often witness the difficulties that can beset performers who gain sudden fame. Many of these celebrities find that they are unable to cope with the stresses, demands, and unrealistic expectations that their instant success brings. They frequently turn to addictive behaviors to give them some feeling of relief, and may even experience burn-out, break-downs, and difficulties in their relationships.

Celebrities who achieve gradual recognition have had more time to learn to cope with the ups and downs of a career that depends so heavily on the opinion of others. They also have time to ‘grow into’ their mental picture of themselves as ‘stars’ and generally feel more comfortable with their eventual and hard-won success.

Sometimes it can also be easier to accept success as our rightful reward when we have worked towards it gradually. Overnight success can leave some people feeling that they don’t deserve their new status. Although this may not be true or reasonable, instant accomplishments can leave some of us feeling like frauds or cheats. This is not to say that success must be a long, hard slog, but if we have patiently worked towards a goal, we are more likely to feel that we have earned our eventual triumph.

Having considered the benefits of gradual accomplishment, we should also give some thought to how to adjust effectively if we do happen to win the lotto, or become hugely successful overnight.

These sudden events may seem random, but I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Should we face a sudden and dramatic change in our life circumstances, the best thing we can do is not to be swept away by it.

Whatever the remarkable change is that you may be experiencing; try not to feel overwhelmed, or that you must instantly adjust totally to your new reality. Find a way to give yourself a little breathing space.

Don’t believe that you must automatically be able to do things perfectly all at once. Ask for help. Seek out people who can support you in coping with the big changes you are facing. Slow down, and make time for yourself. Listen to your heart, and trust that your higher self will not allow you to sink. Tread water a little, and just be patient with yourself.

Mostly, our success comes gradually, and our inner reality moves faster than our physical progress. Eventually our physical reality will catch up with our mental picture. In the event that this is reversed, accept that your overnight success must wait for you to catch up to it.

Whichever way success comes to you, whether it is sudden or gradual, know that you have earned it, and you can handle it beautifully. Enjoy the rewards that come from believing in yourself and living life your way.

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