Learning to Trust Again - Bouncing Back from Betrayal

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Learning to Trust Again

Learning to trust again when we have been disappointed, betrayed, or somehow let down by people or circumstances in our lives can be hard to do, but it is vital for our happiness and wellbeing. When we are afraid to trust, we shut ourselves off from life in an attempt to protect ourselves from further pain, and in doing so, we also close out all the wonderful things that life has to offer.

When we put up a barrier around our hearts, it becomes impossible for love and joy to penetrate this barrier, and guess what? This barrier also prevents us from healing and releasing the feelings that led to our fear of being hurt, and keeps that hurt alive and flourishing in our hearts. What’s worse, by allowing this hurt, pain and anger to remain in our lives, it hardens into bitterness and resentment which literally poison us. To avoid creating this scenario, it is crucial that we open our hearts and minds, even just a little, to learning to trust again.

When learning to trust again, there are a number of things to keep in mind that can make the process clearer and less frightening.

The very first step in learning to trust again is to learn to trust ourselves. Maybe your sense of trust in your own guidance and ability to make good choices has been bruised by circumstances, or perhaps you have never developed this vital self-trust. In either case, developing and strengthening this self-trust is essential in being able to trust others in a healthy and rational manner.

When we have been let down, hurt, or betrayed by people that we allowed ourselves to trust, the greatest impact is that our faith in our own judgment gets shaken. Gaining clarity on the circumstances that led to the feeling of betrayal can help us to understand what happened and why. By taking the time, and finding the courage to really examine the choices and situations that produced the unwanted result, you may find some very interesting facts.

Some questions to ask yourself include; did I make a conscious choice to trust in this person? Did I allow myself to be swept away by emotion? Did I listen to my deep inner knowing and decide to trust from a place of confidence, or did I trust blindly? Did I go against my ‘gut feeling?’ Do I have a sense of, and a connection with my deep inner knowing, or have I allowed myself to make choices based solely on external factors?

If you create a strong and trusting connection with your own inner knowing, you will be able to make choices from a position of consciousness, and place your trust appropriately in things and people with whom you resonate. In learning to trust again, it is also very important that you are trusting consciously and knowingly, rather than blindly. While there is always a chance that in trusting, loving, and living life fully, you will get hurt, there is a lot less chance of experiencing feelings of betrayal when you are trusting deeply in yourself, and you know that no matter what is going on around you, you will always be alright on a soul-deep level. The very best security that you can have is a deep trust in yourself and in the fact that you are part of a loving universe.

A vital part of learning to trust again is developing a firm and unshakeable belief that everything is happening the way it should. This goes along with keeping faith in the divine order of life, and in your own ability to handle the ups and downs and twists and turns that can make life a great adventure.

Learning to trust again often requires learning to trust in a better way. Trusting in a way that is not throwing yourself out of the frying pan and into the fire. While keeping an open mind to all the possibilities the universe has to offer, and seeing the innate good in every living being is important, trust needs to be coupled with common sense.

When you are learning to trust again, use your inner knowing, and your rational mind to decide where you want to place your trust. One way of doing this is, before you make a choice to trust, step outside of your own situation for a moment. If your friend was in the situation you are in now, and was asking you for advice, what would your advice be? If you would tell your friend that you feel they should tread carefully, heed your own advice. If you can look from a detached perspective, and see that this is a case where trust looks and feels well placed, go ahead and trust.

Even when things don’t turn out the way we plan, every interaction, situation, relationship, and life experience has much to teach us about ourselves and the way that we are living our lives. Developing a strong and deep faith and trust in ourselves allows us to embrace the learning that life brings us. We can learn to look before we leap, but then to leap courageously towards what we want, and to know that falling is all part of the process, and we can always pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep living a full and joyful life, no matter what the circumstances.

Learning to trust again – or perhaps for the first time in a conscious way – can be scary, but the rewards are enormous. Start taking small steps to build your own trust in yourself, and gradually, that ability to trust will flow into every area of your life in a smart, aware, and loving way.

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