Managing Human Emotions
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
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Human emotions can be complicated, confusing, and sometimes even downright ugly. Most of us experience emotions at times that we would rather not have- emotions we mightn’t even want to admit to having.
That’s okay. As human beings, we all experience a wide range of emotions. We often don't choose the emotions we encounter, but we can choose what to do with them.
As well as learning to handle less pleasant emotions like sadness, it is vitally important to understand and nurture our positive emotions such as joy and authentic happiness. There are various ways that we can nurture the emotions that we want to have more of in our lives.
Quotes are a powerful tool as a reminder and reinforcement of the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that we wish to embrace. Feelings quotes reflect on the importance and place of emotions in our experience of life and give insight into ways of understanding and validating our feelings. Joy quotes and happiness quotes can remind us of the wonder of life, and help us to focus on the things that bring us true bliss and happiness. If we make our happiness a priority, we can literally find ourselves wanting to jump for joy.
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In learning to manage our less positive emotions, we need to remember that emotions come and go, and that we need to let them flow over us without sweeping us away from our paths.
If we allow our emotions too much control over our lives, they can affect our choices, our happiness, and our motivation. Balancing what we are feeling and the conscious choices we make is the key to staying in control of our lives. Read how motivation and emotion can work together.
We can also choose which emotions we want to take in from the world around us. Creating an emotional filter can allow pure, positive emotions and energy to freely flow through and around us, and deflect negativity from entering the deepest part our beings.
The first thing to do in learning how to deal with our human emotions is to learn to identify what we are feeling, and the roots of these emotions. Knowledge is power, and understanding and knowledge go hand in hand. One powerful way of gaining clarity is making a list of emotions to help identify what we are feeling, as well as some of the possible causes and core emotions.
One powerful emotion that most of us face from time to time is anger. Read this article on anger management techniques for some ways to cope with feelings of rage. Anger quotes contain wise and powerful insights and reminders into the true nature of anger, and provide guidance on acknowledging, expressing and releasing our anger in ways that uplift and heal. It is also important to understand that anger and depression are much more closely connected than most people might think. Repressed anger doesn't go away, but instead festers and becomes damaging to our well-being.
We all experience frustration at times, and by learning to deal with this in a healthy way, we can stop frustration escalating into full-blown rage.
One of the biggest causes of anger and resentment is feeling powerless over our lives, so start reclaiming your power today.
Let’s say you have a strong feeling of resentment when your best friend announces her engagement. The natural reaction to this feeling is to beat yourself up for being a lousy friend, and to hide and deny your emotions. You put on a cheerful face, and try to force yourself to be happy for your friend.
Does this make the resentment go away? Nope! It is still there, simmering away, and gaining steam as a result of being suppressed, denied, and ignored. Getting ready to explode- often at the most inconvenient time.
Have you ever witnessed a meltdown at a big event?
It is entirely possible, that in this situation you might manage to keep up a cheerful front until the rehearsal dinner, and then after one glass too many of champagne, the volcano erupts. Not the best way of handling some normal but negative human emotions.
So what could you do in this scenario?
Well, the first thing to do after hearing your friend’s big news is to find some quiet time as soon as possible. Reflect on your reaction, and try to identify the emotions that are causing you to feel resentment.
It is very likely that fear is the biggest cause. If fear is an emotion that is affecting your life, read this article on how to overcome fear with love. You might also check out 10 Ways to Overcome Fear - a self help article with accompanying video.
In the above situation, the fears could include fearing that you are missing out and being left behind, fear that it will never happen for you. There could also be fear of losing your friend, and that you will become a ‘third wheel.’
Jealousy is also a powerful emotion. When we see others getting the things we deeply want, jealousy is a very natural human emotion to feel. Jealousy also comes from fear. Fear that there is not enough to go around, and that someone else is getting ‘your share.’
These are not pleasant emotions to have, but we all have them from time to time. I don’t believe that there are very many people enlightened enough to avoid all negative human emotions.
Even though these emotions are negative in themselves, the outcome doesn’t have to be. If we can identify our emotions, we can deal with them appropriately. We can also gain positive understanding of ourselves, different situations, and the human condition.
After we identify a negative emotion, we need to accept it.
So, you have figured out that you are jealous. Don’t beat yourself up for having this emotion. Accept that you have it. Try to understand why you are experiencing jealousy. Recognize that it is a normal reaction, and not one that you chose to have. It is okay to feel jealousy. It is not okay though, to hold on to the emotion indefinitely, or to hurt others as a result of it.
The next step is to examine what (usually false) beliefs are fuelling your emotion.
Perhaps your jealousy comes from a belief that you can’t have what you really want. This is not true. You can have what you want, but first you have to believe you can. If you hold onto limiting beliefs, they can really prevent you from fulfilling your dreams.
Another big cause of jealousy is a ‘scarcity mentality.’ This is a belief that there is a limited amount of everything available, and if someone else gets something good, they are leaving fewer chances for you to have the same. This is another false and harmful belief.
, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, suggests using the word ‘enough’ to help overcome limiting beliefs. If you tell yourself repeatedly that you are good enough, you have enough, you do enough, and that there is enough, this can go a long way to overcoming a belief of lack and scarcity.
Once you have figured out what is causing the feelings you are experiencing, you can then begin to let them go and replace them with positive beliefs and emotions.
We are always feeling something, so when you want to let go of a negative emotion, think of a positive one that you can replace it with. Replacing fear and jealousy with trust and optimism could make a huge difference to your well-being.
Negative human emotions are not fun to have, but ignoring them or denying them will not make them go away. Emotions need to be understood, accepted, and validated- much like naughty children. Only then can they begin to become happy and positive.
Dealing with Disappointment
Dealing with disappointment effectively requires a two-fold approach. First the feelings need to be validated, not suppressed, and then we need a new point of focus to move beyond the disappointment.
Feeling Alone? What to Do About It
Feeling alone is usually interpreted as a negative feeling; a feeling of loneliness, or disconnection. It is not always a result of actually being alone, but sometimes that is a factor.
The 7 Human Emotions According to Jaak Panksepp
These 7 human emotions are considered by renowned neuroscientist and psychologist Jaak Panksepp to be so fundamental, that he capitalises their names; SEEKING, FEAR, RAGE, LUST, CARE, GRIEF AND PLAY.
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