
Find Love by Changing Your Thinking
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One of the most universal desires we have as human beings is to find love.
Most of us want to find romantic love. To find a soul mate, someone with whom we can share our innermost thoughts and feelings. Someone to share the joys and sorrows of our daily lives and to walk beside us in this great adventure called life.
Often though, in our quest to find love we encounter many obstacles. They say the path to true love never runs smoothly, and this could also be said of the path to happiness, fulfillment, and emotional freedom. As with any big goal worth reaching, the goal of finding someone to share your life with takes effort.
Much of the effort required is internal. Fine-tuning your thoughts and expectations is far more important than scouring the personal ads endlessly. Check out this article and video of 10 ways to find love, with a focus on how, rather than where to find love.
Here are some of the main obstacles that can make it hard for us to find love;
• Having unrealistic expectations. Hard as it can be to accept, life is not a movie or a fairytale. It is better. Living ‘happily ever after’ would mean missing out on all the triumphs, tragedies, joys, and sorrows that make life real and interesting. ‘Happily ever after’ is boring, and ‘Prince or Princess Charming’ does not exist. We are all human beings with flaws as well as good qualities. Waiting for the perfect partner just means missing out on the joy of getting to know a lot of potentially good partners.
• Not having clear and reasonable expectations. If you don’t know what qualities you want in a partner, you won’t know when you find someone who has them.
• Forming a relationship with somebody just because they want you to. Don’t fall into the trap of being with someone because they desperately want you to be with them. If it is not what you want too, then it is the wrong choice.
• The flip side of the above point is forming a relationship with someone that seems reluctant to be with you. If your partner is only with you because you have talked them into it, you will never feel secure. Break free and give yourself a chance of finding someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Read
Choose a Healthy Relationship Based on Equal Commitment
.
• Not believing you are worthy of a good relationship. If you feel that you don’t deserve to be loved, respected, and treated well, you have very little chance of creating a relationship that will provide these things. Read
A Healthy Self Image Can Lead to Love and Happiness
.
• Not keeping an open mind. If you
keep your mind open
and try not to judge potential partners on superficial factors, you will broaden your horizons greatly. You will also be much more likely to avoid the unhappiness that can be caused by choosing a partner based on external factors alone, such as looks or income.
• Choosing relationships based on what you think you ‘should’ want or what other people expect. Just because you can check all the boxes in a magazine survey about the ‘right’ partner doesn’t make them right for you. Equally, just because a potential partner looks great in the eyes of your friends and family doesn’t mean that you will be happy in a relationship with them.
• Excluding potential partners based on other people’s ideas of what is right or wrong. Have you ever dismissed the possibility of a relationship based on height, age, or skin color? You could be missing some wonderful potential mates by doing this.
• Settling. Deciding to be with someone because you are afraid of being alone, or because you believe this relationship is ‘as good as it gets’ is seriously short-changing yourself. Be clear about what you want, know that you can have it, keep your mind and options open, be realistic, and don’t settle! Your soul mate does exist!
You can find love, and have a wonderful, fulfilling relationship. Happily ever after is just a fairytale, but real love is not.
Further Reading
Whatever the status of your romantic situation right now, asking yourself (and sometimes your partner) some thought-provoking relationship questions can go a long way to helping you make your love life everything you want it to be.
To make the most of relationship advice, and all aspects of your life, follow your heart and learn to trust your inner knowing. As Winnie the Pooh says, “you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think,” so believe in yourself and your right to be happy.
New relationship quotes can help to make sense of the rollercoaster of emotions that new relationships often involve. Keeping a level head, and an open heart and mind, is a key to enjoying the ride.
Great relationship quotes give us a rich selection of insights into the nature of human relationships, and how to make the best of them. We can gain understanding about how relationships best thrive, why they sometimes falter, and the joys that building strong connections with ourselves and others can bring us.
Marriage quotes offer some good advice on how to keep a marriage happy and healthy, and insights into what marriage is really all about. Whatever your personal view on marriage, it is a relationship that affects us all at some point in our lives, whether directly or indirectly.
Relationship trust is one of the most important ingredients for a happy and healthy love life. In fact, trust is vital to a happy and healthy life! Trust in ourselves, our partners, those around us, and the basic goodness of the universe allows us to feel more positive, confident and secure. When trust is present, we are also able to enjoy open, honest and positive communication.
Giving up on love can be a viable and healthy short-term option if it is just long enough to allow your heart to mend, and not so long, or so vehemently, that your heart will harden.
If you are experiencing heartbreak, lost love quotes that acknowledge what you are going through, and help you feel that you are not alone in your grief, are most likely to provide comfort and hope at a time life seems very bleak.
Relationship addiction is as powerful as any addiction, and as harmful to our wellbeing. It comes from placing disproportionate importance on relationships, often at the cost of our happiness.
Controlling relationships are unhealthy for both people involved. This article discusses different reactions to controlling behavior and offers tips for transforming these relationships.
Toxic relationships play havoc with our self esteem, and can contribute to physical and emotional problems. The good news is that transforming or avoiding this type of relationship can be done.
Get your life going the way you want! Book your life coaching
discovery session with Amanda Harvey today!

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