BOOK A FREE LIFE COACHING CONSULTATION

Releasing Expectations
Opens Up New Possibilities

One problem that arises from having rigid ideas of how things should turn out is that life very rarely follows the scripts we create in our heads.

Clinging to a belief that there is only one acceptable outcome not only sets us up for a great deal of potential disappointment, but creates tension and struggle. When we refuse to release our expectations of how things should be, we are refusing to go with the flow of life. This often results in trying to control events, which is futile and exhausting.

By holding too tightly to expectancy, or being too set on an exact outcome, we often influence our own behavior in ways that are not helpful or healthy. We may either push ourselves to fulfill our goals in an obsessive or short-sighted manner, or we may become paralyzed by the fear that we will somehow mess up our desired outcome, and feel unable to take action at all.

I like the idea of ‘unsetting your heart’ on something. Having a heart that is set on a goal implies a rigid feeling and approach. Like being set in one’s ways, there is very little space for flow, freedom, or spontaneity when one’s heart is set.

There is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams; in fact, life could become somewhat aimless without hopes and aspirations. I believe that it is very positive to have a clear idea of the general situation in which you wish to find your career, finances, or relationship. What is potentially unhealthy though, is an obsession with the idea that there is only one very narrow path that can lead to your fulfillment, and that you know exactly, in the minutest detail, what that final destination must be like.

Life can take on a lot more flow and possibility for satisfaction and fulfillment if, rather than declaring that you must have one specific villa on X Beach on Y Island, you open your heart and mind to visiting any one of hundreds of villas, on one of dozens of beaches, on one of hundreds of islands. Opening your mind to a much wider range of possibilities makes it far more likely that you will be able to see your dreams come true.

Holding on to expectations can also cause us to close our minds to potentially fulfilling opportunities, simply because those opportunities do not follow the exact formula we believe they should follow.

Letting go of expectations can be difficult. Most of us have been conditioned since childhood to grasp hold of goals and ideals, and to never let go. What we need to understand is that we can keep our dreams, but let go of the rigid ideas of how those dreams can come true. By learning to release our grip on how we believe things should be, we can begin to enjoy how things really are, and open our minds to the myriad of possibilities that exist in life.

Dream big and dream wide. Don’t narrow your chances for happiness to one in a million, or even one in a hundred. Trade your expectations for explorations, and discover that there are a multitude of different ways that you can be happy and fulfilled in life.

Back to Letting Go

Back to Choosing Life My Way from Releasing Expectations