If sadness is not acknowledged and expressed in a healthy way, it has the potential to lead to depression. The emotion sadness often occurs as a result of loss- real or perceived. These losses can be big or small, and our feelings of sadness are not always in rational proportion to the apparent cause.
It is possible for someone to appear very matter-of-fact about losing a job, and then to become distraught over a seemingly minor loss such as a ruined t-shirt. Often, the real cause of the intense sadness is the bigger event that occurred previously.

Sometimes when we experience a serious loss, we go into a state of mild shock, and denial. We cannot believe what has happened, we feel numb, and we don’t want to face the reality of our loss. We may also fear allowing ourselves to feel sad, angry, or hurt. We worry that the intensity of these feelings may be more than we can deal with.

When we subsequently suffer a smaller loss, we may feel that this gives us an opportunity to vent some of the sadness that we have kept inside us from our previous experience. The minor incident can also act as a ‘final straw,’ and raise our level of emotion to the point where we can no longer suppress it. This is why we sometimes seem to react completely out of proportion to the event that has just occurred.

The losses that can trigger the emotion sadness include the end of a relationship whether by death or separation, the loss of a job, income, home, or friendship. Even more than the reality of the physical loss, the loss of dreams, beliefs, hopes, or illusions affects us deeply.

Even happy life changes such as marriage and the arrival of a baby can trigger the emotion sadness. Big life changes usually bring losses of familiar conditions and feelings of identity. Becoming a parent means the end of life as it was, and a certain loss of autonomy. It usually means a loss of sleep, a loss of time, and even a (usually temporary) loss of a sense of identity as a person rather than a parent.

Because these happy events are things that we wanted, and that we believe should bring only feelings of joy, the sadness we may also experience often comes as a shock. We may also feel guilty at not being overwhelmed with pure happiness, and often try to deny and suppress our feelings of sadness.

It is important to realize that feeling sadness is a normal experience, both in times of happiness and hardship.

In happy times, feeling an element of sadness does not mean that we are ungrateful. It simply means that we are experiencing the loss of certain elements or perceptions of our former existence.

Feeling sadness in times of difficulty is extremely natural, and healthy. It does not in any way mean that we are weak. In fact, it is a strong and emotionally healthy individual that allows themselves to wholly experience, and express in an appropriate manner, the full range of human emotions.

There can be purity and a cleansing quality to the emotion sadness, if we allow ourselves to feel it fully. Sadness can also inspire some of the most beautiful works of art and literature, when it is given a means of expression.

Usually, when we recognize our feelings of sadness, try to understand the underlying causes, and allow ourselves to express our emotions, we will find that we can swiftly move through the sadness, and open ourselves to the happiness that is always just around the corner.

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