Do What You Want to Do

Do you do what you want to do on a regular basis? If you are like most people, you probably don't do what makes you really happy often enough. We are so good at filling our time with chores and obligations, rather than prioritizing things that bring us joy.

There are basically three ways that you can spend your time. You can do what you want to do, do what you don’t want to do, or do nothing.

Doing nothing doesn't mean making a positive choice to relax, but is the paralysis and indecision that result from an internal conflict. Often we are so torn between what we want to do, and what we feel we ‘should’ do, that we end up doing nothing.

This is not a positive way to use the precious hours and days of your life, but in some ways is better than spending time doing what you don’t want to do.

To do what you actively dislike doing is soul-destroying. It eats away at your happiness, well-being, and self-esteem. It reinforces the feeling that you are trapped by circumstances, and that you don’t have a choice.

Doing things you don’t like tells your subconscious that you don’t deserve to be happy, and that what you want to do is not important. It is vital to stop this vicious cycle.

Starting now, think about what you are doing in your life that you don’t want to do. Choose at least one thing- perhaps a small thing that you can decide, here and now, that you will stop doing.

Perhaps you really hate going for Thursday night drinks with your colleagues, but feel obliged to go. Make a decision right now, that you will no longer go. Just say ‘no.’ You can do this politely and tactfully, but you need to do it. Your happiness depends on it.

When you have begun to take a stand against doing things that you don’t want to do, you will be able to build up to dealing with the big drains on your time and energy- things like a job you hate.

Making big changes takes courage. Creating a life filled with things that you want to do will probably take time and patience. The first step though, is to make a commitment to begin making changes.

Most people spend a couple of thousand hours a year doing their jobs. If your job is eating away at your happiness,that's a lot of time you are spending making yourself miserable!

It is also very likely that if you are unhappy at work, you will not be doing your best anyway. Staying in this job is harmful for you, and is not helpful to anyone around you either. However daunting the idea may be, it is so important that you take steps to change things.

In some cases, a period of transition will be needed. Perhaps it is not practical for you to leave your job until you have figured out an alternative source of income. In that case, start figuring!

On Sunday evenings, rather than dreading the week ahead, spend your time positively to think about the job you really do want, or by taking steps towards finding a new, satisfying career. You can find a way to do what you want to do and make a living from it.

For more ideas on discovering your passion and purpose in life, read this section on life purpose.

When you have freed some of your valuable time by eliminating a few things that you don’t want to do from your life, you can use that time to begin doing things that you do want to do.

Once you have gracefully excused yourself from the Thursday night drinks that you find so tedious, don’t replace that activity with another activity that you dislike. If you start using your Thursday evenings to bring work home, or to do your ironing, you will be right back where you started- miserable!

This time is your time to do something that you want to do. Make it an unbreakable appointment with yourself. Whether you use the time to have a massage, join a reading group, or take salsa classes, you need to do what you want to do!

This activity can also give you a genuine excuse to skip the dreaded drinks sessions- who can argue with the fact that you are signing up for dance lessons?

The more you practice using your time to do what you want, the easier it becomes, and the happier you get. It takes discipline not to be influenced by requests from other people to use your time doing what they want, and not to feel guilty or selfish at saying 'no' to what you don’t want and 'yes' to what you do want.

It is well worth the effort though, every hour that you spend doing what you enjoy will make you that little bit happier, and being happier makes you nicer to be around too.

Who would you rather spend time with; the miserable grouch who grudgingly does everything you want them to, or the happy person with a healthy self respect who says 'no' to you sometimes in order to fulfil their own needs and desires?

It is good to do what you want! It’s not selfish,it's smart! Your health, happiness, fulfillment, and productivity depend on it.

Make a promise to yourself that starting today, every day you will do at least one thing you want to do- even if it is only for ten minutes. It can make the world of difference in starting to create a new healthy habit.

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