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These 10 ways to find love are not focused on where to find love, (you’ve probably heard and maybe tried all of that before), but rather how to find love. In fact, finding love is best done with a whole lot less physical searching, and a lot more soul searching.
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Learn to appreciate, love, and care for yourself. Giving yourself what you need for your own happiness and wellbeing is vital. If you are waiting for someone else to come along and give you the love and validation that you are withholding from yourself, you place yourself in a very powerless position. Being in this position also creates a sensation of neediness, which is very unattractive to other people, and is very likely to keep potential partners away.
Believe that you deserve to have a good relationship. This is so important, and often so difficult. The stronger basis you can create by learning to love and value yourself, the better position you will be in to transform beliefs that keep you from having the relationship you want and deserve.
Using affirmations, simple positive statements, is one of the best ways to change negative beliefs, but be aware that it takes time and persistence. If you have been thinking and feeling your whole like that you are somehow flawed and unworthy, don’t expect to be able to transform this belief overnight.
The simplest affirmations are basically stating that what you wish to feel or experience is, in fact, true. For example, tell yourself, “I deserve a good relationship.” Expect it to feel weird if you have told yourself the opposite thousands of times. With enough repetition, it can begin to feel more believable to you, and from that point you are really getting there.
Believe that it is possible for you to have a good relationship. This is another way to find love that relates to transforming a belief that can stop love from flowing into your life. If you believe that, for some reason, love is possible for other people, but not for you, then working at changing this belief is vital to finding love. Believing that something is impossible creates a virtual brick wall around us that prevents what we desire from reaching us.
Let go of unrealistic expectations. Accept that we are all human beings with flaws as well as good qualities. Waiting for the perfect partner just means missing out on the joy of getting to know a lot of potentially good partners, and the possibilities for a great relationship that any of them might bring.
Create clear and realistic expectations. Knowing what is truly important to you creates a blueprint for the relationship you want in your life. If you don’t know what you want, you will be stumbling around in the dark, and won’t even recognize a potentially great partner when you meet them.
Visualize being in a loving, joyful, and healthy relationship with someone just right for you. Creating a mental picture of what you want your relationship to look like allows you to experience the joy and happiness of that love right now. It also helps you to strengthen your belief that you can and will have the love you want in your life.
Decide that you will choose a partner based on what is important to you, and not be swayed by what other people say you ‘should’ want. When you have figured out what is truly important to you in your future partner, make up your mind to tune out the messages of the media or those around you that tell you looks, status, or money are everything.
Let go of when and how your partner is going to come into your life. This can be hard to do. When we want something, we usually want it yesterday, and unfortunately this sense of time pressure has the opposite result from what we would like it to have. Obsessing about when and how we are going to get what we want blocks the flow of events and energy that bring us into proximity with the things that we desire.
Decide that you are going to enjoy your life right now, rather than focusing all your attention on the lack of a relationship. When you create a full and joyful life, regardless of your relationship status, you not only get to be happy now, but you take the pressure off wanting a relationship so badly, which is the time one is much more likely to enter your life!
Decide that you intend to have a healthy relationship based on equal commitment with someone that you know is right for you. Trust that you will recognize the person that is right for you, and that they will meet the non-negotiable expectations of what you want in a partner. Avoid the temptation of getting into a relationship just because you are afraid that this may be as good as it gets, or because the other person is persistent about wanting to be with you.
Learn to trust your inner knowing, and accept that if it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. Mr. or Ms. Right will come along, you just need to trust that everything is happening at exactly the right time, in exactly the right way, and take control of the things that you do have complete control over - your own thoughts and actions.
With patience and attention to these 10 ways to find love, you will find that you are feeling good about yourself and your life, knowing what you want in a partner and a relationship, believing that you can and will have it, trusting that it will come to you at exactly the right time, and enjoying this stage of your life while you let go of the need to ‘make it happen,’ and allow love to find you.
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